"I won't get into the why people can't see themselves in a mixed marriage here, because I've strayed off topic and around topic a little too much already."
"So, Evander, why can't people see themselves in a mixed marriage?"
Well, I'm glad I asked myself.
There are several half-baked theories I have.
Of course, I'm pulling a lot of these theories from other theories I've heard about or theories that other people have come up with and have already tested, so I don't claim any of those as being my own. But they are just thoughts.
Anyway to introduce the first thought, imagine the smartest person in the world. Ever.
Not someone you know, just the smartest person ever. Give this person a face, clothes, a body, a physical appearance.
...
So if you thought what I thought, then this guy is some white person. Possibly an Asian dude of some sort really good at math or something.
Maybe not. Any one individual might pick some other physical qualities this person has.
But when I asked myself the question, I imagined this white male of about 20 years who was a slacker in high school, but made decent grades. Regular, comfortable clothes. No glasses.
Am I close?
In any case, he was probably a "he". Not a woman.
He (or she, but I doubt many people thought that) probably wasn't Hispanic or a Pacific Islander. Probably not Native American.
Of course (and I'm not calling anyone out on being stereotypically prejudiced or anything,) anyone whose opinion would be honored in an intellectual conversation would say that any person could very well be the smartest person in the world, regardless of sex or race.
Or they might avoid the point by being postmodern asking "What kind of smart are you talking about?"
Not saying that there is anything wrong with a certain level of postmodernism, but you're not really much good for conversation if you can't answer moderately specific questions without deconstructing each point.
Anyway, I might follow up and ask, "Why did you think the smartest person in the world is this guy (or woman?)"
I can imagine the first words out of a mouth being, "I don't know." And you might not, right off the top of your head. Or if you don't know much about looking at stereotypes critically, you might not know at all.
But there is a reason for this. Most people I've asked are smart, rational people, and they can come up with a physical body for this genius of the human race.
I say people can come up with these reasons, because certain stereotypes exist for certain attributes that have nothing to do with the stereotypes.
"Male" and "smart" are probably more likely to be associated with each other than "female" and "smart."
"White" (the race) and "smart" are probably more likely to be associated with each other than "Hispanic" and "smart."
So.
If you made that association (without having much hesitation,) I believe there exists a certain level of racial discrimination within you.
-ation words are fun...
And in a roundabout way, I'm saying that this is not good. But most people, if not all people have a level of racism.
It would take all kinds of sheltering to stop it though. I mean, you'd have to be raised in a situation where you had races of all kinds in constant contact with you.
And then level of visible attributes (grades, athleticism, rhythm, artistic ability, etc.) would have to be similar across every race.
What you see on TV and in movies and on the Internet and on every visible medium would have to be similar across every race.
What you hear from every audible medium, from your friends, from your family, from your classmates, from your coworkers, from everyone you associate with on a regular basis would have to be similar across every single race.
But that's just not the case.
If you were like me, you came up in "college prep with excellence" classes as one of the few black people and most definitely one of the few black males.
You have multiple classes in race neutral, non-Historically Black Colleges and Universities where you are the only black guy and one of few blacks, period.
You knew a lot more black kids that dropped out than white kids.
You come across stats where black high school graduates aren't as likely to go to college than whites.
You hear music that rarely challenges you mentally from a lot of black artists (thanks, contemporary hip-hop and R&B...) and more from white artists (even though it's probably not much more in popular music in general.)
You've seen BET (I think that's the deal breaker.)
And that's just talking about whites and blacks.
And this isn't to say that whites are inherently smarter than blacks. I believe there are many blacks smarter than whites.
And there are cultures and subcultures that encourage or show a lack of encouragement for education. That upbringing can turn an otherwise intelligent person into a moderately intelligent one (or at least that we can see in class placement and grades/IQ scores.)
So a racist mindset is almost assured for all people who pay any attention to what TV/movies/Internet/observation/parents/friends say. Especially if, in addition, you observe (or think you observe) certain differences in the races.
So I take that and apply it to romantic relationships.
I would like to believe that if someone saw other, less superficial similarities in a person of a different race (or of his or her own race,) that this person could look past the physical differences, because physical differences (supposedly) don't matter. Then attraction of a meaningful level would be emphasized (attitudes, personalities, miens, interests, etc.) as opposed to shallow, categorical ones.
Supposedly.
However, we've been socialized to believe that there are differences among the races beyond skin color, body features, and diseases. These don't matter in choosing a partner of romantic interest that would have a decent chance at happiness and, in that, success.
Er, I haven't seen a relationship deteriorate, because one of them having sickle cell or anything.
None of any other of the differences are proven to be real based solely upon race. Cultural upbringing, perhaps, which is strongly tied to race.
But even if you put a person of a different race in a situation where he or she was brought up in the same culture as those of the dominant race, I'd imagine that he or she wouldn't be as desirable as the others of the majority (outside of other factors that matter in relationships.)
But maybe so.
I've heard people say they wouldn't date a person outside of their race, even if they were more or less like a person from their own culture and upbringing.
A friend said that people say somethings, but they don't always abide by it.
The example she gave was one of eye color. She said she always thought she preferred guys with blue eyes, but the only guys she's liked/dated had brown eyes.
...
Eye color doesn't have any widespread, socially reinforced stereotypes associated with it.
Race does.
So where her preference in eye color is, in fact, a preference...
In a lot of cases, race could be a prerequisite.
I can't imagine a person who actually liked another person turning down a romantic invitation from that person due to eye color.
I could very easily see it for race.
And I think most people could.
There are other prerequisites people might have. Height is probably my favorite. Age is not as common, but it's out there. Race. Build. Socioeconomic status.
Probably a few more, but I haven't done any research on anything other than these.
So, why can't some people see themselves in a mixed marriage?
For this point, it's because there are conscious prerequisites that overcome certain levels of attraction towards an individual.
Is that to say that people say in their minds or aloud, "I like her/him, but I'm not sure if I could date a -specific race- guy/girl."?
Yes. I think so. Due to the same of similar reason for why "the most intelligent person in the world ever" tends to be a white male.
Even if you feel that this is wrong, it may be impossible for you to "make" yourself like someone that you think could have a great relationship with. I mean, even I believe that attraction should feel natural and shouldn't require work.
So you end up with a situation where a relationships foundation are partially based off of internalized concepts of what a race is that could potentially conflict with what a person thinks a romantic partner should be. Of course, this results in a kind of racism that socially frowned upon. In fact, it is considered an individual, personal difference in preference.
I argue that this preference dictates who a person will not consider, because of the cognitive dissonance a specific race and romantic partner might have. That is not a preference. That is a requirement. Which wouldn't be so discomforting, except for the fact that race itself won't affect a relationship's quality.
I also argue that this is not personal. If it was personal, then the level and types of "preference" would be approximately evenly distributed among the population. It is not. People of certain backgrounds, cultures, and races generally believe the same stereotypes, or if they do not believe them or believe they are false or overgeneralizations, they may still unconsciously hold to those beliefs and feel so uncomfortable going against those norms, that the relationship would be unnatural and actually more likely to fail.
I'm not really sure if I made a proper point in all of that, but to sum, I believe widespread, deeply internalized racism causes much of the trend of homogeneous relationships.
Now it would be a valid argument to say that just because some disqualification occurs on irrelevant issues doesn't necessarily ensure poor choosing of romantic partners. I would acknowledge this point with no rebuttal.
I would say, however, that if one feels too attached to these superficial attributes, he or she may become to attached to the attributes of the person to disregard the other, more meaningful relevant attributes.
But that would be a point for another post as well.
Peace.
Love.
Smart Latina kids.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Do Relationships Help to Diminish Girl Power?
Probably no more than "puppy power."
Scrappy may or may not have ever gotten over that that stuttering problem...
Anywho, I was thinking about girls (like always) and relationships (like always,) and I was thinking about how they tend to come along, how they develop, and what all is involved with it.
Without getting into one of my main hypotheses of relationships and marriages, I think relationships help to solidify woman's place in our culture as being inferior (or at least subordinate) to man, and in these norms and other norms outside of romantic relationships, they help reinforce the idea that women need protection and have trouble getting along by themselves.
That they need a strong man to take care of them.
Now, before I go any further, let me say I am not the strongest of men nor am I the most intimidating. And by "not the strongest of men," I mean, "I'm strong, but people don't get that vibe from me," and by "nor am I the most intimidating," I mean, "I can fit into a noncommercial drying machine with relative ease."
I may or may not have an agenda to convince people that they don't need to feel like they need a strong man in a relationship.
But bear (rawr) with me.
For example, women are perfectly capable of asking guys out, but people tend to believe that's the man's job. Same for proposing marriage. I figure women are just as capable as men to express feelings of wanting to begin a different relationship with another person. I mean, lesbian norms, I don't really know about. But lesbian couples do exist and somehow, they had to come to a point where they entered a relationship.
And that would even be more awkward and embarrassing than in a heterosexual relationship.
Unless you met in a lesbian bar or knew from prior experience that the one you're interested in is also a lesbian (or at least bisexual,) then you'd risk coming out to a person along with the romantic interest you had in them which could really mess up the resulting friendship if the other wasn't lesbian.
I mean, heterosexual relationships especially commonplace ones have no stigma on them whatsoever.
Humans with sexual drive are looking for someone to have sex with at the very least. I think it would be safe to say that at least half of humans want some sort of marriage at some point in life.
If I were to say 90%, I still think I'd be underestimating badly. I know this is the case in America, if not abroad as well.
So asking a guy out probably won't hurt pass the point of being rejected and the awkwardness that could ensue.
Aside from the stigma that you might get for being too forward as a girl.
But that really shouldn't matter. We all become adults one day, and unless women have some sexual, innate inability to make their own decisions and carry them out, I don't see why she should be seen as too forward only because girls aren't supposed to ask guys out.
I mean, that would be the only way I would start dating now, if someone asks me out, because I want a capable girl who can be like, "You see that guy over there?...Oh, he's behind all the taller people. Yeah, the black one. Yes, I know he's short, but I like him, and I'm going to ask him out, because I am totally capable of it."
Otherwise, I prefer to sit back and flirt without any real intentions.
Same with a guy being stronger than a girl. Yeah, female humans tend to be physically weaker than males in most muscles. But I don't see why it should matter in a relationship.
Protection in the .7% percent chance you get jumped by a total stranger who wants to rape you or something tragic like that could be a reason, yes. That stranger must be pretty darn strong to fight off anyone while having his way with you.
More often than not, the stranger wouldn't try anything if you were with any human. Male, female, strong, or weak.
I can't argue the biological basis of strength, shoulder-to-waist ratios, height or anything like that. But even though these exist, I find it personally hard to believe that women consciously give themselves over to it.
Maybe it's just me or a small percentage of people, but I definitely have done things just to be different.
It isn't always smart, no. But I hate being stereotyped because of something about me. I just thought other people might feel that way too. Enough to at least stop verbally entertaining ideas in conversation.
Humans have gotten over a lot of basic urges. I constantly fight the urge to hit someone in the face. I fight the urge to release urine in socially unacceptable places.
I fight the urge to cry at the end of special movies when the heroine dies...
But I guess that resisting urges for romance or sex may be a different story. I don't think anyone would say that it's a bad thing that people see guys as the one to ask girls out normally. And honestly, I don' think people would think it's bad that a girl would ask a guy out.
But people say the same thing about interracial relationships.
-Oh, God. He's playing the race card-
Hey!
It could have been Hitler.
...
In this study I came across while working on a paper, the qualitative data of a community study group of all white people all said that there was nothing particularly wrong with interracial relationships.
They also all said that they wouldn't date interracially themselves. And they all said they wouldn't want their family members to date interracially.
Which is technically fine.
That particular set of statements says that people don't mind if a random Jane and a random Marquavious (yes, Mar-QUAY-vee-uhs) got together.
They do if it included someone they cared about or themselves.
Reasons were usually that different people tend to not do well together.
(Black women think the white women are easy, the black men are weak, and the white men don't like black women. But that's something altogether different.)
(And actually, people with different social categories don't do any better or worse than a homogeneous couple.)
Other people said that white people shouldn't mix with other people. Other races should stick to their own.
Which is at least a little racist.
Of course, we don't think that way. We...edumacated bloggers of the blogosphere.
The blagosblag.
Well, run this program right quick-like.
If you're white, you must marry a Mexican person. For life. No divorce.
If you're black, you must marry an Indian person. No, not Native to America.
If you're Asian, you must marry a Cuban. Mambo #5, arigatoo gozaimasu.
If you're Latino, you must marry an Inuit. Yes. I knew it. You knew it. Inuit.
(Sorry that was bad.)
And people of Middle Eastern descent must marry a black person. Yes, African-American.
Now, if you're like me, then you remember that really cute girl you met who was Indian and she said she liked your name, but you were too shy to say "Thanks" to her, and instead drooled on your shoes.
If you're like a lot of people I've met, then you can't see the marriage working out. And if you can, you don't want it.
I won't get into the why people can't see themselves in a mixed marriage here, because I've strayed off topic and around topic a little too much already.
But it does have something to do with race. At the very least culture, but even if you said the person had the same background as you but only had the respective race's skin color and physical features, a lot of people still couldn't imagine that.
The same thing goes with a lot of norms for guys and girls.
I tend to think that they serve to reinforce the male dominance of the world.
Not because males are dominant. But because few females (or males) see it as a way to diminish women's importance and power.
Yeah, power.
And because there aren't charismatic people around to carry the cause (another one of my hypotheses) and people who believe there is a cause to be carried, it goes unchecked.
I feel that the Civil Rights Movement of the United States wouldn't have ever occurred without charismatic people behind it, including Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and others. They believed they had a complaint.
Women for the most part don't. And if they do, they either aren't as charismatic (but then again, few people are as charismatic as MLK was,) or they don't attribute it to small things such as daily statements and conversations.
I think in time, if they Civil Rights Movement of the 1960's didn't occur, another one of some sort would have later on. And even if no movement occurred, I think change would have come about as more and more people saw that minorities are people too and can do stuff just like white people.
It would have just been much more gradual.
The woman is younger (outside of affairs,) the woman is shorter (outside of pity dates,) the woman is smaller (this one, I can't prove so much outside of what I usually see,) the woman makes less money...
And these things are by choice. Again, there could be some biological component to it as well, but there exist couples that don't go by this. And the fact that people state these norms without knowing why they exist kinda means they are socialized.
Not saying the norms are bad by themselves, and honestly, if I wasn't a small dude, I might not care.
But I do think they serve to reinforce male superiority that really doesn't exist to the extent that it doesn't even merit conversation or debate.
But then yet again, people don't think relationships in general merit conversation.
Just their own.
I like to observe the trends.
Hm, looking back, I'm not really sure I made very good point here.
But the things that do go on in the development in relationships tend to place the male in a higher position of control than the female in terms of instigation and power, when it really doesn't matter.
That's all I was trying to say.
I just go a long way to try to explain it.
If you see any holes (and I know they are there,) let us go at them.
Peace. Love.
Gender.
Scrappy may or may not have ever gotten over that that stuttering problem...
Anywho, I was thinking about girls (like always) and relationships (like always,) and I was thinking about how they tend to come along, how they develop, and what all is involved with it.
Without getting into one of my main hypotheses of relationships and marriages, I think relationships help to solidify woman's place in our culture as being inferior (or at least subordinate) to man, and in these norms and other norms outside of romantic relationships, they help reinforce the idea that women need protection and have trouble getting along by themselves.
That they need a strong man to take care of them.
Now, before I go any further, let me say I am not the strongest of men nor am I the most intimidating. And by "not the strongest of men," I mean, "I'm strong, but people don't get that vibe from me," and by "nor am I the most intimidating," I mean, "I can fit into a noncommercial drying machine with relative ease."
I may or may not have an agenda to convince people that they don't need to feel like they need a strong man in a relationship.
But bear (rawr) with me.
For example, women are perfectly capable of asking guys out, but people tend to believe that's the man's job. Same for proposing marriage. I figure women are just as capable as men to express feelings of wanting to begin a different relationship with another person. I mean, lesbian norms, I don't really know about. But lesbian couples do exist and somehow, they had to come to a point where they entered a relationship.
And that would even be more awkward and embarrassing than in a heterosexual relationship.
Unless you met in a lesbian bar or knew from prior experience that the one you're interested in is also a lesbian (or at least bisexual,) then you'd risk coming out to a person along with the romantic interest you had in them which could really mess up the resulting friendship if the other wasn't lesbian.
I mean, heterosexual relationships especially commonplace ones have no stigma on them whatsoever.
Humans with sexual drive are looking for someone to have sex with at the very least. I think it would be safe to say that at least half of humans want some sort of marriage at some point in life.
If I were to say 90%, I still think I'd be underestimating badly. I know this is the case in America, if not abroad as well.
So asking a guy out probably won't hurt pass the point of being rejected and the awkwardness that could ensue.
Aside from the stigma that you might get for being too forward as a girl.
But that really shouldn't matter. We all become adults one day, and unless women have some sexual, innate inability to make their own decisions and carry them out, I don't see why she should be seen as too forward only because girls aren't supposed to ask guys out.
I mean, that would be the only way I would start dating now, if someone asks me out, because I want a capable girl who can be like, "You see that guy over there?...Oh, he's behind all the taller people. Yeah, the black one. Yes, I know he's short, but I like him, and I'm going to ask him out, because I am totally capable of it."
Otherwise, I prefer to sit back and flirt without any real intentions.
Same with a guy being stronger than a girl. Yeah, female humans tend to be physically weaker than males in most muscles. But I don't see why it should matter in a relationship.
Protection in the .7% percent chance you get jumped by a total stranger who wants to rape you or something tragic like that could be a reason, yes. That stranger must be pretty darn strong to fight off anyone while having his way with you.
More often than not, the stranger wouldn't try anything if you were with any human. Male, female, strong, or weak.
I can't argue the biological basis of strength, shoulder-to-waist ratios, height or anything like that. But even though these exist, I find it personally hard to believe that women consciously give themselves over to it.
Maybe it's just me or a small percentage of people, but I definitely have done things just to be different.
It isn't always smart, no. But I hate being stereotyped because of something about me. I just thought other people might feel that way too. Enough to at least stop verbally entertaining ideas in conversation.
Humans have gotten over a lot of basic urges. I constantly fight the urge to hit someone in the face. I fight the urge to release urine in socially unacceptable places.
I fight the urge to cry at the end of special movies when the heroine dies...
But I guess that resisting urges for romance or sex may be a different story. I don't think anyone would say that it's a bad thing that people see guys as the one to ask girls out normally. And honestly, I don' think people would think it's bad that a girl would ask a guy out.
But people say the same thing about interracial relationships.
-Oh, God. He's playing the race card-
Hey!
It could have been Hitler.
...
In this study I came across while working on a paper, the qualitative data of a community study group of all white people all said that there was nothing particularly wrong with interracial relationships.
They also all said that they wouldn't date interracially themselves. And they all said they wouldn't want their family members to date interracially.
Which is technically fine.
That particular set of statements says that people don't mind if a random Jane and a random Marquavious (yes, Mar-QUAY-vee-uhs) got together.
They do if it included someone they cared about or themselves.
Reasons were usually that different people tend to not do well together.
(Black women think the white women are easy, the black men are weak, and the white men don't like black women. But that's something altogether different.)
(And actually, people with different social categories don't do any better or worse than a homogeneous couple.)
Other people said that white people shouldn't mix with other people. Other races should stick to their own.
Which is at least a little racist.
Of course, we don't think that way. We...edumacated bloggers of the blogosphere.
The blagosblag.
Well, run this program right quick-like.
If you're white, you must marry a Mexican person. For life. No divorce.
If you're black, you must marry an Indian person. No, not Native to America.
If you're Asian, you must marry a Cuban. Mambo #5, arigatoo gozaimasu.
If you're Latino, you must marry an Inuit. Yes. I knew it. You knew it. Inuit.
(Sorry that was bad.)
And people of Middle Eastern descent must marry a black person. Yes, African-American.
Now, if you're like me, then you remember that really cute girl you met who was Indian and she said she liked your name, but you were too shy to say "Thanks" to her, and instead drooled on your shoes.
If you're like a lot of people I've met, then you can't see the marriage working out. And if you can, you don't want it.
I won't get into the why people can't see themselves in a mixed marriage here, because I've strayed off topic and around topic a little too much already.
But it does have something to do with race. At the very least culture, but even if you said the person had the same background as you but only had the respective race's skin color and physical features, a lot of people still couldn't imagine that.
The same thing goes with a lot of norms for guys and girls.
I tend to think that they serve to reinforce the male dominance of the world.
Not because males are dominant. But because few females (or males) see it as a way to diminish women's importance and power.
Yeah, power.
And because there aren't charismatic people around to carry the cause (another one of my hypotheses) and people who believe there is a cause to be carried, it goes unchecked.
I feel that the Civil Rights Movement of the United States wouldn't have ever occurred without charismatic people behind it, including Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and others. They believed they had a complaint.
Women for the most part don't. And if they do, they either aren't as charismatic (but then again, few people are as charismatic as MLK was,) or they don't attribute it to small things such as daily statements and conversations.
I think in time, if they Civil Rights Movement of the 1960's didn't occur, another one of some sort would have later on. And even if no movement occurred, I think change would have come about as more and more people saw that minorities are people too and can do stuff just like white people.
It would have just been much more gradual.
The woman is younger (outside of affairs,) the woman is shorter (outside of pity dates,) the woman is smaller (this one, I can't prove so much outside of what I usually see,) the woman makes less money...
And these things are by choice. Again, there could be some biological component to it as well, but there exist couples that don't go by this. And the fact that people state these norms without knowing why they exist kinda means they are socialized.
Not saying the norms are bad by themselves, and honestly, if I wasn't a small dude, I might not care.
But I do think they serve to reinforce male superiority that really doesn't exist to the extent that it doesn't even merit conversation or debate.
But then yet again, people don't think relationships in general merit conversation.
Just their own.
I like to observe the trends.
Hm, looking back, I'm not really sure I made very good point here.
But the things that do go on in the development in relationships tend to place the male in a higher position of control than the female in terms of instigation and power, when it really doesn't matter.
That's all I was trying to say.
I just go a long way to try to explain it.
If you see any holes (and I know they are there,) let us go at them.
Peace. Love.
Gender.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
How Else Do We Celebrate? Part II
Hi guys.
I hope things are going well for you. I'm doing laundry.
Still.
Anywho, I typed up something last year as my personal "update" of the Dream Dr. King had, and feel that I should update that update to keep it from becoming (guess) outdated. And here's how I feel.
...A year rarely makes much difference in the actual course of social history. This past year was no different. Some things of note did occur. And there's one I can thing type about immediately:
The Super Bowl!
...
No not the one for 2008. I don't care about this one. I don't care about the New York Giants. I hate the New England Patriots.
And to a certain extent, I didn't care about last year's either. I didn't care about the Indianapolis Colts. I didn't care about the Chicago Bears.
But last year, two black head coaches of NFL teams led teams to the Super Bowl: the first time in National Football History.
...-Wow. Some girl just referenced Alex Mack.
"Be like Alex Mack...you could just slide under the door...You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?...-"
Anyway, Tony Dungy and Tubby Smith led the Colts and Bears respectively. And because only two teams play in the Super Bowl, one (Dungy) would become the first to win a Super Bowl as a head coach.
These events are significant in my mind
1. For one reason,
2. But for a very important reason.
Now that this initial stepping stone has been passed, it is no longer a big deal.
In that one reason, it means no one conspired against the coaches enough to deny them jobs as head coaches. It means no one on the teams slacked off enough to cause the team to do poorly. It means no referee interfered enough to prevent either team from reaching the Super Bowl, or winning enough to make the playoffs. It means that the hatred and racism has subsided enough to allow these men to do their jobs.
It also means that the hatred and racism had subsided for a long enough period of time so that the two men could reach the level of knowledge, skill, leadership, etc. to compete in the highest of leagues of American football. Other coaches might have done the same thing, but the wave of acceptance had not washed the prejudice far enough from the shimmering beaches that was the skill of those black head coahces*.
*I sincerely apologize for that horrible analogy. I'm tired. But then again, I guess I'm not sorry enough to edit that, so take it as you will.
It also means that it is no longer a big deal. Like I said, no one is going to give more praise than should be given. These men have already reached the pinnacle of their sport as black men. It's not special that black men can coach. It really isn't special that they were given the opportunity to get there at the beginning of the season, just like every NFL head coach. It is special that it happened, so we know that people as a whole will allow it to happen just as if it were any other coach.
Because that's all these men are, really. They just coach. And they are good at what they do. Good enough to compete and excel at the highest level.
I guess they point of that is that no one pulled invisible or visible strings enough to stop them. And by that, the people that wear suits with the NFL emblem on it, say it's ok. They are ok with a black head coach leading the best team that year.
And now, we can be equal. It had probably been that way for several years, but the championship victory is symbolic of that, I guess.
Now, in my own life, I've met a lot of people of different ethnicities. And I'm very glad to have had the opportunity to see it. At the University of Georgia, a recognized college in the Deep South, people of Middle Eastern, Asian, Latin American, and African descent live, learn, and excel in their academics and extracurriculars.
Yes, yes, the Indian kids can get drunk with the best of the white kids.
What I see that I don't really understand is the massive amounts of voluntary segregation among friends. Perhaps in this sense, it isn't quite segregation by definition, if the definition of segregation includes the attribute of it being "systematic separation." But what I look over to my right is two young men of Middle Eastern descent studying for a test.
No big deal.
What I saw earlier today was a group of over ten people of Middle Eastern descent eating lunch together without anybody else of any other race.
And what I see on a regular basis is similar cliques of races. Not all of the time, of course not. I hang with Asian, white, black, and people of Middle Eastern ethnicities all of the time. As do many other people.
And I could understand if there were some difference culturally, in the way of a lifestyle, a way of everyday living, that would make it difficult for others to understand you. If you don't speak English well, it is probably nice to speak your native language every once in a while with someone else fluently. It is probably good to discuss your religion with someone else who practices it and understands the history of it. It is probably comforting for someone to understand why you do certain things or abstain from certain activities, as they entertain and abstain from the same activities.
What I don't see is those differences between the racial cliques and most kids on campus.
For example (these two young men are such good examples. I would thank them for there efforts...or lack thereof, but they may be offended,) these two Middle Eastern guys are wearing stereotypical clothes of the Western world with one guy with his cap backwards. Both are sitting at some slouch. Both are using stand English slang and grammar without any kind of accent. The only difference I can see is that they are of Middle Eastern descent.
It was the same case with the ten or more kids sitting and eating earlier. Or with other kids I see that set themselves apart.
The only difference I can see is that they are of a different race. And after getting to know some of these people a little better, I know that they aren't much different than anyone other stereotypical frat guy or sorority girl.
So do they actively look for people of their race to associate with? And if one cannot tell any difference in culture, why would people group themselves off as such? My guess is a racism geared toward meeting those of the same race more often than with people of other races.
Perhaps there is something obvious there that I just don't see. And it would definitely be rude of me to ask.
But when Martin Luther King Day comes and passes, and throughout the day, I see people in the same places, doing the same things, with people that look just like them, I wonder how much progress has been made.
I mean the negative attitudes (or the ones people front) are much, much less racist and bigoted than ever before in the history of the United States. The legislation is created and has upheld in many cases the right for equality for all peoples.
But with all that, people still choose to organize themselves by something as shallow as looks.
Perhaps it is just my incomplete, premature observations, but either way, it doesn't look good.
Well, aside from things being neat and organized.
And given how far things have come in the history of equality of all peoples, this is probably just a phase in history, given that there are no severe steps backwards. And as the history of the US and the Western world continues, these cliques will likely become less based upon race and more based upon similarities of a more meaningful nature.
And in many cases, as is the case with many black people, "black" the race is synonymous with "black" the culture to a point where music, a nonvisible colorless thing (unless you have that condition John Mayer has that makes you see color when you hear music...) has been called "black music." Maybe that is the case with people of other minorities.
And I believe after a while, these cultures will blend and mix until the US no longer stands as a social power. Who knows.
Take it as you will.
I hope you enjoyed your day off.
Peace. Love.
Dreams.
I hope things are going well for you. I'm doing laundry.
Still.
Anywho, I typed up something last year as my personal "update" of the Dream Dr. King had, and feel that I should update that update to keep it from becoming (guess) outdated. And here's how I feel.
...A year rarely makes much difference in the actual course of social history. This past year was no different. Some things of note did occur. And there's one I can thing type about immediately:
The Super Bowl!
...
No not the one for 2008. I don't care about this one. I don't care about the New York Giants. I hate the New England Patriots.
And to a certain extent, I didn't care about last year's either. I didn't care about the Indianapolis Colts. I didn't care about the Chicago Bears.
But last year, two black head coaches of NFL teams led teams to the Super Bowl: the first time in National Football History.
...-Wow. Some girl just referenced Alex Mack.
"Be like Alex Mack...you could just slide under the door...You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?...-"
Anyway, Tony Dungy and Tubby Smith led the Colts and Bears respectively. And because only two teams play in the Super Bowl, one (Dungy) would become the first to win a Super Bowl as a head coach.
These events are significant in my mind
1. For one reason,
2. But for a very important reason.
Now that this initial stepping stone has been passed, it is no longer a big deal.
In that one reason, it means no one conspired against the coaches enough to deny them jobs as head coaches. It means no one on the teams slacked off enough to cause the team to do poorly. It means no referee interfered enough to prevent either team from reaching the Super Bowl, or winning enough to make the playoffs. It means that the hatred and racism has subsided enough to allow these men to do their jobs.
It also means that the hatred and racism had subsided for a long enough period of time so that the two men could reach the level of knowledge, skill, leadership, etc. to compete in the highest of leagues of American football. Other coaches might have done the same thing, but the wave of acceptance had not washed the prejudice far enough from the shimmering beaches that was the skill of those black head coahces*.
*I sincerely apologize for that horrible analogy. I'm tired. But then again, I guess I'm not sorry enough to edit that, so take it as you will.
It also means that it is no longer a big deal. Like I said, no one is going to give more praise than should be given. These men have already reached the pinnacle of their sport as black men. It's not special that black men can coach. It really isn't special that they were given the opportunity to get there at the beginning of the season, just like every NFL head coach. It is special that it happened, so we know that people as a whole will allow it to happen just as if it were any other coach.
Because that's all these men are, really. They just coach. And they are good at what they do. Good enough to compete and excel at the highest level.
I guess they point of that is that no one pulled invisible or visible strings enough to stop them. And by that, the people that wear suits with the NFL emblem on it, say it's ok. They are ok with a black head coach leading the best team that year.
And now, we can be equal. It had probably been that way for several years, but the championship victory is symbolic of that, I guess.
Now, in my own life, I've met a lot of people of different ethnicities. And I'm very glad to have had the opportunity to see it. At the University of Georgia, a recognized college in the Deep South, people of Middle Eastern, Asian, Latin American, and African descent live, learn, and excel in their academics and extracurriculars.
Yes, yes, the Indian kids can get drunk with the best of the white kids.
What I see that I don't really understand is the massive amounts of voluntary segregation among friends. Perhaps in this sense, it isn't quite segregation by definition, if the definition of segregation includes the attribute of it being "systematic separation." But what I look over to my right is two young men of Middle Eastern descent studying for a test.
No big deal.
What I saw earlier today was a group of over ten people of Middle Eastern descent eating lunch together without anybody else of any other race.
And what I see on a regular basis is similar cliques of races. Not all of the time, of course not. I hang with Asian, white, black, and people of Middle Eastern ethnicities all of the time. As do many other people.
And I could understand if there were some difference culturally, in the way of a lifestyle, a way of everyday living, that would make it difficult for others to understand you. If you don't speak English well, it is probably nice to speak your native language every once in a while with someone else fluently. It is probably good to discuss your religion with someone else who practices it and understands the history of it. It is probably comforting for someone to understand why you do certain things or abstain from certain activities, as they entertain and abstain from the same activities.
What I don't see is those differences between the racial cliques and most kids on campus.
For example (these two young men are such good examples. I would thank them for there efforts...or lack thereof, but they may be offended,) these two Middle Eastern guys are wearing stereotypical clothes of the Western world with one guy with his cap backwards. Both are sitting at some slouch. Both are using stand English slang and grammar without any kind of accent. The only difference I can see is that they are of Middle Eastern descent.
It was the same case with the ten or more kids sitting and eating earlier. Or with other kids I see that set themselves apart.
The only difference I can see is that they are of a different race. And after getting to know some of these people a little better, I know that they aren't much different than anyone other stereotypical frat guy or sorority girl.
So do they actively look for people of their race to associate with? And if one cannot tell any difference in culture, why would people group themselves off as such? My guess is a racism geared toward meeting those of the same race more often than with people of other races.
Perhaps there is something obvious there that I just don't see. And it would definitely be rude of me to ask.
But when Martin Luther King Day comes and passes, and throughout the day, I see people in the same places, doing the same things, with people that look just like them, I wonder how much progress has been made.
I mean the negative attitudes (or the ones people front) are much, much less racist and bigoted than ever before in the history of the United States. The legislation is created and has upheld in many cases the right for equality for all peoples.
But with all that, people still choose to organize themselves by something as shallow as looks.
Perhaps it is just my incomplete, premature observations, but either way, it doesn't look good.
Well, aside from things being neat and organized.
And given how far things have come in the history of equality of all peoples, this is probably just a phase in history, given that there are no severe steps backwards. And as the history of the US and the Western world continues, these cliques will likely become less based upon race and more based upon similarities of a more meaningful nature.
And in many cases, as is the case with many black people, "black" the race is synonymous with "black" the culture to a point where music, a nonvisible colorless thing (unless you have that condition John Mayer has that makes you see color when you hear music...) has been called "black music." Maybe that is the case with people of other minorities.
And I believe after a while, these cultures will blend and mix until the US no longer stands as a social power. Who knows.
Take it as you will.
I hope you enjoyed your day off.
Peace. Love.
Dreams.
How Else Do We Celebrate
Hi people.
I've been gone. Hiatus, if you will. I hate us, if you won't.
(...What?)
Anywho, I typed this up a year ago for Martin Luther King Day. It's not so much a tribute to his life and his accomplishments, great and unique as they were/are to the US Civil Rights movement, as it is an update of sorts on my version of the dream.
The update is different now. Which I will post later.
And by later, I mean, in an hour or so. Whenever I finish.
I'm waiting for laundry to wash and dry.
Sleep-deprived blogging. Should be fun.
Shall we?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, today is MLKJ day. The day where fairies come from the sky. They land on all meanie administrators heads from all school systems (except Bob Jones U, maybe) and make them give the kids and sometimes adults a day off.
...
Ok, not really, but MLK is only "celebrated" by a few black people. I haven't seen Asian people celebrate it. Hispanic. Indian. And honestly, not many black people. I've seen a few whites on occasion do somethings, and those who celebrate at churches are mostly black.
But then again, I haven't been to many white churches, and not on MLK day.
Then again, I suppose the day shouldn't be made to celebrate just MLK, because there were many other people that helped and may have had a more political or social influence than King.
It's no big deal. The holiday. I don't think MLK cares that there is a day celebrating Civil Rights' achievements. As long as the achievements were made, he'd be just as happy.
In fact, being a doctor, he'd probably be happier seeing me and other minorities in school with all other groups of people than us segregating ourselves with our friends of our own respective races.
Well, kudos to you Dr. King and just as many kudos to the people of all colors and backgrounds that did their own thing during the Civil Rights movement.
Now.
.................
This is the whiny part.
I have many white friends. It's about a 80/20ish ratio white to black. I say 80/20ish, because I have a few friends who are neither white or black. Or they are both.
Of the close friends, it's closer to 50/50ish. I understand that because of cultural differences and whatever differences that may not exist due to culture (I don't believe much in the latter) that I usually have to keep those friends separate.
Segregated, if you will.
Dontae is a close friend of mine from football in HS, school, and when I worked at Harvey's. He's really cool. Cassie I know from many places, I guess. I spent the most time talking with her during a joint enrollment thing at Brewton-Parker. She's really cool.
I can't remember if it was 11th grade in Trig or if it was 9th grade Geometry, but Dontae, Cassie, and I sat together kinda in the back of the room. And for once, one of my (soon to be) good white friends and one of my good black friends got along. Well. On a regular basis.
The tastes in music were still different. The accents and dialects were different. The backgrounds were different. But two intelligent people got along, and even without me being there, they probably would have gotten along just as well.
It was good to see. And after a while, I was able to just enjoy conversation with two friends like usual.
But it doesn't happen often outside of school. TJ and Jason, perhaps closer friends than Cassie and Dontae are, because TJ and I, and Jason and I have been through more bad times, and most definitely more good times.
Anyway Jason and Bryna were going to Dairy Queen after a football game in Vidalia. I saw TJ there and we started to talk.
Admittedly Jason doesn't really know TJ and TJ doesn't know Jason. But it bothered me to know that two of my friends didn't even talk.
They weren't even fighting. They didn't say anything to each other. Like neither existed. And from the outside looking in, it was that way.
It wasn't because TJ is black or because Jason is white. It's because of the "circles" of friends people tend to have. Jason's circle included me. TJ's circle included me. And in both circles, I tend to believe I'm somewhere near the center. However, as big as both circles are (Jason and TJ have many acquaintances, if not friends) neither circle had the other person in it. Even with me being so close to the centers (TJ and Jason), and me being a center of my own circle with them being close to the center, they weren't close to each other.
If the center of a circle E is close to the center of circle T and circle J, then how can the circles of T and J not even touch?
They must touch. It is mathematically, moreso geometrically impossible otherwise.
So how can this be?
Because people aren't circles.
And I cannot make sense of it with a shape as simple as a circle. If it must be graphed somehow, it would include far more complicated shapes for most people. For me, it may be a circle, a line, something more asymmetrical.
For most, not really circles, in some cases not even shapes with defined boundaries. Sometimes, it's just two points.
And even with exceptions to my "circle" theory, you can't make sense of everything.
People are too complex. And in the way of friends, maybe I'm either very complex or very simple.
And in the case of Jason and TJ, too complex or simple.
Am I asking you to make friends with people of other races so that the ratio of your friends is more even?
No.
However, am I asking you to make some friends of other races?
No.
Just one good friend of another race?
No.
What am I asking of you?
Nothing.
I am asking nothing of you.
For whatever the reason, and there is a reason...there is a reason for everything, whether it can be figured or not, it is the way it is...
The situation is the situation.
Just because things don't seem right, doesn't mean it isn't right. Some things are above my thought, human thought, or human thought in any point of human's evolution.
So what's all this typing for?
?
I don't know.
I've been gone. Hiatus, if you will. I hate us, if you won't.
(...What?)
Anywho, I typed this up a year ago for Martin Luther King Day. It's not so much a tribute to his life and his accomplishments, great and unique as they were/are to the US Civil Rights movement, as it is an update of sorts on my version of the dream.
The update is different now. Which I will post later.
And by later, I mean, in an hour or so. Whenever I finish.
I'm waiting for laundry to wash and dry.
Sleep-deprived blogging. Should be fun.
Shall we?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, today is MLKJ day. The day where fairies come from the sky. They land on all meanie administrators heads from all school systems (except Bob Jones U, maybe) and make them give the kids and sometimes adults a day off.
...
Ok, not really, but MLK is only "celebrated" by a few black people. I haven't seen Asian people celebrate it. Hispanic. Indian. And honestly, not many black people. I've seen a few whites on occasion do somethings, and those who celebrate at churches are mostly black.
But then again, I haven't been to many white churches, and not on MLK day.
Then again, I suppose the day shouldn't be made to celebrate just MLK, because there were many other people that helped and may have had a more political or social influence than King.
It's no big deal. The holiday. I don't think MLK cares that there is a day celebrating Civil Rights' achievements. As long as the achievements were made, he'd be just as happy.
In fact, being a doctor, he'd probably be happier seeing me and other minorities in school with all other groups of people than us segregating ourselves with our friends of our own respective races.
Well, kudos to you Dr. King and just as many kudos to the people of all colors and backgrounds that did their own thing during the Civil Rights movement.
Now.
.................
This is the whiny part.
I have many white friends. It's about a 80/20ish ratio white to black. I say 80/20ish, because I have a few friends who are neither white or black. Or they are both.
Of the close friends, it's closer to 50/50ish. I understand that because of cultural differences and whatever differences that may not exist due to culture (I don't believe much in the latter) that I usually have to keep those friends separate.
Segregated, if you will.
Dontae is a close friend of mine from football in HS, school, and when I worked at Harvey's. He's really cool. Cassie I know from many places, I guess. I spent the most time talking with her during a joint enrollment thing at Brewton-Parker. She's really cool.
I can't remember if it was 11th grade in Trig or if it was 9th grade Geometry, but Dontae, Cassie, and I sat together kinda in the back of the room. And for once, one of my (soon to be) good white friends and one of my good black friends got along. Well. On a regular basis.
The tastes in music were still different. The accents and dialects were different. The backgrounds were different. But two intelligent people got along, and even without me being there, they probably would have gotten along just as well.
It was good to see. And after a while, I was able to just enjoy conversation with two friends like usual.
But it doesn't happen often outside of school. TJ and Jason, perhaps closer friends than Cassie and Dontae are, because TJ and I, and Jason and I have been through more bad times, and most definitely more good times.
Anyway Jason and Bryna were going to Dairy Queen after a football game in Vidalia. I saw TJ there and we started to talk.
Admittedly Jason doesn't really know TJ and TJ doesn't know Jason. But it bothered me to know that two of my friends didn't even talk.
They weren't even fighting. They didn't say anything to each other. Like neither existed. And from the outside looking in, it was that way.
It wasn't because TJ is black or because Jason is white. It's because of the "circles" of friends people tend to have. Jason's circle included me. TJ's circle included me. And in both circles, I tend to believe I'm somewhere near the center. However, as big as both circles are (Jason and TJ have many acquaintances, if not friends) neither circle had the other person in it. Even with me being so close to the centers (TJ and Jason), and me being a center of my own circle with them being close to the center, they weren't close to each other.
If the center of a circle E is close to the center of circle T and circle J, then how can the circles of T and J not even touch?
They must touch. It is mathematically, moreso geometrically impossible otherwise.
So how can this be?
Because people aren't circles.
And I cannot make sense of it with a shape as simple as a circle. If it must be graphed somehow, it would include far more complicated shapes for most people. For me, it may be a circle, a line, something more asymmetrical.
For most, not really circles, in some cases not even shapes with defined boundaries. Sometimes, it's just two points.
And even with exceptions to my "circle" theory, you can't make sense of everything.
People are too complex. And in the way of friends, maybe I'm either very complex or very simple.
And in the case of Jason and TJ, too complex or simple.
Am I asking you to make friends with people of other races so that the ratio of your friends is more even?
No.
However, am I asking you to make some friends of other races?
No.
Just one good friend of another race?
No.
What am I asking of you?
Nothing.
I am asking nothing of you.
For whatever the reason, and there is a reason...there is a reason for everything, whether it can be figured or not, it is the way it is...
The situation is the situation.
Just because things don't seem right, doesn't mean it isn't right. Some things are above my thought, human thought, or human thought in any point of human's evolution.
So what's all this typing for?
?
I don't know.
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