My Short Brethren Unlucky at Love

I give you advice.

Well, not really advice, but a way to look at things. Try it out, if you're not liking your outlook as is.

It's true. By my own personal conversations, observations, and others' scientific studies, most women prefer a man to be taller than them in romantic relationships. Some, and probably more than they even know, could never see a man shorter than them as being a viable object of romantic interests.



It sucks, bros. It sucks hard.



Of course, we know that we aren't going to grow anymore. We know that most women aren't going to change their preferences, either because they can't or they don't see a need. It truly is unfair and unfortunate to be rejected, or even just acknowledged in passing to have some small (ha!) attribute that really means nothing in love.



So how can we cope with such dire prospects? On prospects as special and unique as love? Love that usually isn't given a chance based on how tall we are?



Demand nothing less than perfection.


This applies to many folk with many attributes even less socially or sexually appealing generally than being a short male: mental retardation, morbid obesity, actual dwarfism, missing limbs, deformed facial features... demand nothing less than perfection. Your own, unadulterated, as socially uninfluenced as any of our preferences are, perfection.

As short guys, we are not subjected to "personal preferences," because they are widespread and they are prerequisites many times. But we should not subject others to those same prerequisites, as they do not matter. We should get to know ourselves and be happy with ourselves. Once we know that and are comfortable with who we are as human beings, we can identify what we want.

Humor, attractiveness, intelligence, mien, quirks, things that wouldn't cross my mind, but would be an all-consuming attribute of desire for you.

Then, we can either present ourselves to the masses as an object of romantic interest or actively pursue our interests.


Sometimes, perhaps most of the time, we'll be rejected or we will go without anyone showing interest in our awesomeness. Just because we have spent time becoming self-aware, enlightened people doesn't mean most people are.

Even with regular height, finding someone to love that loves you is statistically...not as likely as others might think. We are, usually, individuals with individual likes and needs. To demand perfection isn't to get all these likes and needs covered, but it is to be patient and not settle.

When we find him or her, then things will be great. If you're like me (in ways of experience and not physicality,) you know that when you finally get something you've really wanted, it makes all the pain and sorrow seem like small (ha!) potatoes. Kinda like giving birth. I guess.



I mean, what with all the screaming, blood, and poop, I figure no one would want to do it again.

Apples and oranges, maybe.



This is where being happy with your self comes into play. Because our desirability isn't as high as the average height person, we may be 30...or 40...or 50...or older...or we may never find that special someone.

It's unfortunate, again, and it makes me sad that people have gone their whole lives without their true love and that I am more likely to be one of those people, but in truth, the way I see it, all those who focus on meaningless traits in partners and deemphasize meaningful ones don't have true love either.

We should be happy with ourselves. We, not being jerks or maybe even being jerks, have loved ones with whom we aren't romantically involved. We like who we are, and we are making changes to become who we want to be and not what others think they want us to be.

But the wait, and the prospect of never finding her, in my mind, is worth the shot at perfection. I could, literally wait forever.



I'm really sorry if this isn't so clear. I have a philosophy and a message here. The two are bound together, and it makes things not as clear as I would like for them to be. I will split the two up in detail, eventually, but I wanted to post something. And I don't think it's just crap splattered to say I just wanted something up here, but it could use polishing and some categorization.

Without all the langauge, the philosophy is that some people have attributes that make those people less desirable than others. Yes, some do like those attributes but there aren't very many people at all. And to be honest, they usually have some generally undesirable attributes themselves. Put simply, all of the girls that have liked me haven't had much to choose from, for various reasons.
We have romantic social capital, and even though it varies among cultures and sometimes individuals, social capital remains the same. And if you don't have much of it, the person you date seriously either doesn't have much his or herself (or maybe they believe you have more than most people think, which happens. They may also delude themselves into believing you are more desirable than you are, but that isn't a great view for you, yourself to have nor is it good for your relationship.)

The message would be to not be bitter and to not settle for less that what we want, despite missing that huge (ha!) chunk of capital. Being bitter is a poor coping mechanism: people can't get close to us, people don't want to get close to us, and it takes a toll on your mind and soul (in whichever way you choose to believe in the term "soul.") If you don't really like a girl, don't date the girl, just because she likes you despite or because you're short and you don't think you can do any better. Don't settle, or settle, knowing that you're committing yourself to someone for which you don't have that true love. For me, it is better to wait until I die than to have a wife who is "meh." I hope that I do not become that desperate for romantic love that I settle for convenient love.





So yeah. If you got anything from that, great. Sometimes I find things from hearing something I don't agree with at all. I'm happy to spur those kind of thoughts as well. Peace until and after I better organize this...